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June 17, 2004

I am Zac Birnbaum of the Staten Island Birnbaums!!!

We (which shall mean my past, present and future Clients, significant others, life partners, domesticated animals and bitches) wish to inform you that your statements are slanderous, libelous and have generated a massive lawsuit withing the offices our entity inhabits. We have temps on Golden Time. And we have arranged for them to eat steak!

However, we will accept Glenfiddisch or however you spell it.

All my love,

Z. Birnbaum

(NOTE: Please red instructions before attempting to operate the so-called "Hello Kitty Vibrating Massager". Batteries not included.)

Posted by Zachary Birnbaum | June 17, 2004 10:28 AM