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August 15, 2005

The People vs.


In brief, my Client and it's various associates which include, but are not limited to, Dermot Mulroney, Sea Org, The Los Feliz Neighborhood Association and the Ye Rustic Inn as well as their various baby mamas, hangers on, groupies, prospective employees and myriad bitches, are collectively appalled and insulted by your lack of adequate customer service.

May I remind you, SIRS, that your Better Business Rating (BBB) is, at the time of this writing, so-called "unsatisfactory" which automatically disqualifies this matter as being one of a personal nature.

We shall sue out of you, before long, a working customer service number, which shall be functional (1) for all twenty-four (“24;” “XXIV”) hours of the day; and (2) for all seven days of the week (known herein as “24/7” – a term coined, most likely by an unknown African-American individual who, if discovered by us, shall certainly sue you, in a separate case, for certain licensing rights.)

I am Zac Birnbaum, of the Staten Island Birnbaums of the same name and, unless approved by one Sting, I shall not tolerate any delay in being services as a customer.



Posted by Zachary Birnbaum | August 15, 2005 09:58 AM