October 04, 2005
Fox, BOB LOBLAW IS INSULTING, INACCURATE AND ILLEGAL!
Dear Fox Swine:
One of my many associates, which include, but are not limited to, ViaComm, Kristy McNichol and Dennis Farina, as well as their drinking buddies, various corporate sponsors and weed carriers, have recently alerted me to yet another one of your attempts to caricature me in one of your television modules just this past Monday.
This time it is in the form of one BOB LOBLAW, who appears in your otherwise legally compliant ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT programme. While this foul snake does not even come close to capturing the Birnbaum Essence, you are once again in violation of section 3344.1 of California's Code of Civil Procedure by basing your character on me without providing proper compensation.
Furthermore, I am appalled that you would overlook such obvious choices as Russell Crowe or Matt Dillon and, instead, lazily settle on Scott Baio to portray me. This has led to further pain and suffering for which my Client, one Z. Birnbaum, WILL be compensated.
Are you mad? Have you not learned from your beloved HEAD CASES abomination? and the consequences which you suffered therefrom?? Our long, hard legal apperatus shut you down for that heinous crime and we shall not hesitate to do so again. This is a warning, cease and desist your attempt at mockery and provide adequate monetary compensation, chilled lager and FAMILY GUY Digital Versatile Discs (or "DVDs") or you shall feel our unlubricated legal fist once again, SIRS!
PLEASE NOTE: FAILURE TO PROVIDE ADEQUATE EVIDENCE TO THE NIGHT MANAGER AT THE MOTEL 6 SHALL RESULT IN THE ACTIONS DESCRIBED IN APPENDIX II: RISK FACTORS OF GENITAL PIERCING. UNACCEPTABLE! OR YOUR MONEY BACK.
Posted by Zachary Birnbaum | October 4, 2005 03:37 PM