October 07, 2005
HEWLETT-PACKARD = SHAMELESSS FRAUDS!
TO HEWLETT-PACKARD (AKA “HP”), IT'S ASSIGNS AND BABY DADDIES:
Your false advertising, HP, is in direct violation of California's Business and Professions Code and we intend to sue for damages unless we are provided compensation for your blunders. Said compensation shall include, but not be limited to, (1) adequate office space in your building which we shall have access to 24 hours a day and seven (XII) days per week (“24/7”) until such time as we are able to inhibit our own overpriced, yet downtown, offices again; (2) an agreed upon amount of unused white paper and adequate toner for the time specified;and (4) malt liquor, chilled to our liking and delivered to our aforementioned surrogate offices by noon each day for the duration of our stay.
Unless you enjoy severe, prologed agony delivered without remorse, you will comply at once. Your lack of response here shall be evidence of acceptance of the terms herein.
PLEASE NOTE: IN LEUI OF AFOREMENTIONED DELIVERABLES, WE WILL MOST CERTAINLY ACCEPT BOXED WINE AND MODEST AA APPROVED MOTEL ROOMS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. UNACCEPTABLE!
Posted by Zachary Birnbaum | October 7, 2005 09:47 AM