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October 10, 2005

SAFEWAY/VONS, Your "Customer Service" Could Constitute Harassment.

Vons/Safeway, Inc.
8060 S. Kyrene Rd.
Tempe, AZ 85284

To whom it may concern:

As a frequent acquirer of various goods at your so-called “Vons” establishments and Club Card holder in good standing, I have composed this missive to express my outrage at the atrocious customer service it has been my misfortune to experience at your stores. Said customer service, quite possibly, constitutes harassment as defined in section 527.6. of the California Code of Civil Procedure.

Specifically, I refer to the practice of your employees, who are obviously coerced by your management arm, tracking my movements througout the store, asking, at irregular intervals, and I quote: “Are you finding everything ok?” I may be harassed in this way anywhere between six (6) to ten (X) times during any given shopping venture at your stores.

This psychological assault is furthermore escalated by your poor choice of ambient music which is criminally devoid of any and all songs by Dexy’s Midnight Runners and is peppered with subliminal messages, delivered by a deceptively cheery female announcer, luring me to various parts of the establishment with promises of superior, reasonably priced Safeway goods, where, inevitably, another employee awaits to ask if I, Zac Birnbaum, and “finding everything ok, sir” thereby repeating this sick cycle of customer service abuse.

As if the acts described herein is not enough, I am inevitably required by your cashiers to swipe my Club Card long before the Electronic Club Card Reading Device (“ECCRD”) is prepared to accept such action. This, the final tier of mental aggression, is capped by one your seemingly innocuous packaging representatives asking if I need “help out, Mr. Birnbaum” when I am clearly in good health and able to handle such a task without assistance.

These blatant offenses have caused me incalculable pain and suffering for which I demand to be compensated in the form of (1) vouchers which shall be redeemable at your establishments for any and all goods, including alcoholic beverages; (2) your inclusion of songs from the album TOO-TYE-AY in your in store playlists and (3) your assurance that all customer service representatives remain at least 10 (ten) feet away from unless I choose to first engage them.

I hope we can come to a fair settlement in this matter and that escalation will not be necessary.



Posted by Zachary Birnbaum | October 10, 2005 10:18 AM