Saturday, August 18th 2018
View Open Cases
My organization, 21st Century Birnbaum, in association with various others, including, but not limited to ViaComm, GlaxoSmithKlein and Rite-Aid, as well as their drug dealers, ex-significant others and tailors, do not take kindly your loading this page without our permission. My Client utilizes this ECI for an anecdote or two, NOT to be spied upon by the like of you.
Your statements have been found to be insulting to Tony Danza and in direct violation of Section 1708.5.(d) of the California Civil Code. You have engaged in the most heinous form of libel and shall pay with either blood or money. You want a piece of this, punk?!
Therefore, your ass is, from this moment forward, figuratively ours.. My client's name has obviously been tarnished and this may or may not translate into a monetary reward off which I will take a small portion.. I'm Outraged!
We have contacted several of our associates from the front the Terry Lumber institution who are en route to our gleaming offices to assist in mounting a strog case against you for as little money possible.
Make no mistake, your ass is, from this moment forward, figuratively ours.. All rights reserved.!
However, you may be spared such disgrace (and various late fees) by remitting the following to our gleaming, high-prices offices at once:: (3) CheesyBread, expertly manufactured by the "Little Ceasars" organization, Two (see "2") A 'Pilates for Dummies' DVD, the head of Mackenzie Phillips as well as (2) two lesbian or bisexual strippers who know curse words in French and can recite haiku and (2) Super 8 standard bath towels.
We sue or chew - the choice is yours, SIR, Submit to our random whims or find yourself among the ranks of those unfortunate dolts in the ZLS, LLC naughty files
Unless you enjoy severe, prologed agony delivered without remorse, you will comply at once. We sincerely hope that we can resolve this issue in a manner pleasing to one Corey Feldman.
FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.