Saturday, October 21st 2017
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My organization, Birnbaum Coleman & Turchynsky, in association with various others, including, but not limited to GlaxoSmithKlein, Pink and Roscos Chicken, as well as their receptionists, estranged fathers and ex-significant others, grow weary of your incessant harassment via this virtual interface(VI). My Client utilizes this ECI for updates regarding the career of Eddie Murphy, NOT to be stalked by Philistines.
You comments are libelous and in direct violation of Section 25852.(h) of the California Food and Agricultural Code. Please do not underestimate the girth of our throbbing legal aparatus and it's ability to insure swift justice through our sphinchter expanding suit.. Your comments are libelous and damaging!
Therefore, we intend to sue you several times over and into your next few lifetimes. You have engaged in the most heinous form of libel and shall pay with either blood or money. Our intermittently well-staffed organization is prepped for battle as is Mackenzie Phillips.
We have procured funds for ourtemporary assigns to work overtime. They shall also be provided various fruit juices and low-end vending machine victuals as an incentive to speed your demise.
Make no mistake, we intend to sue you several times over and into your next few lifetimes. All rights reserved.!
However, my Client, who shall, hereafter, and in perpetuity throughout the universe, be known as "Client," wishes to offer you a chance to settle.: three (III) off color t-shirts sporting ironic logos and/ore text, a reasonable amount of Tang instant breakfast drink, a 24 pack of individually wrapped skittles as well as One (1) Dexy's Midnight Runner 's CD entitled "TOO-RYE-AY" (the 1981 original; a rare item which we expect to be delivered in fair to good condition) and five golden rings.
We sue or chew - the choice is yours, SIR, Submit to out demands or find yourself among the ranks of those unfortunate dolts in the ZLS, LLC naughty files
Please refrain from comments that may anger or upset Camryn Manheim, the current and ex girlfriends of said Client and their assigns and/or appointees.. We hope that physical violence, administered coldly by The drummer from Men Without Hats, will not be necessary.
CONTEST RULES: ANY SO-CALLED "HATERS" SHALL EXPERIENCE THE FULL LEGAL WRATH OF ZSNC,LLC (FORMERLY ZAC'S LEGAL EMPRIUM). UNBELIEVABLE!
FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.