Monday, March 18th 2019

Z. Birnbaum


Sue Again
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Madam:

My organization, Birnbaum Coleman & Turchynsky, in association with various others, including, but not limited to Roscos Chicken, Dennis Farina and Bank Suissse, as well as their accountants, stylists and physicians, are baffled by your very presence. My Client utilizes this ECI for an anecdote or two, NOT to be hunted like some grass-fead beast.

Your studied aloofnness clarly violates Section 4651.(a) of the California Fish and Game Code. My Client wishes to assert that he is not engaged in any legal activity whatsoever. Please update your files, backing them up to exabyte or any stable media of your choosing.. You want a piece of this, punk?!

Therefore, vengence shall be ours, upon the expressed approval of one Yaphet Kotto. It has been commonly accepted (see Burke v. Williams) that simple yoga asanas combined with deep breathing and a cruelty-free diet shall take precedence over all other electronically viewed media including, but not limited to, TaeBo, Buns of Steel, Fit for Life and the Sopranos 4th Season DVD with commentary (if combined with long-tern popped corn injestion). Our intermittently well-staffed organization is prepped for battle as is Pink.

While many of our loyal assigns MAY be "out sick" - we can guarantee nothing but swift justice and your attempt to ease yourself out of the path of our eminent wrath is pointless.

Make no mistake, vengence shall be ours, upon the expressed approval of one Yaphet Kotto. UNBELIEVABLE!!

However, my Client, who shall, hereafter, and in perpetuity throughout the universe, be known as "Client," wishes to offer you a chance to settle.: a reasonable amount of Tang instant breakfast drink, a garbage pizza and two 4 packs of Boddington's, as much oxycontin, lorcet, hydrocodone and Chipotle Doritos˘ as you can manage as well as (2) Super 8 standard bath towels and (2) two lesbian or bisexual strippers who know curse words in French and can recite haiku.

The Choice is yours, SIR, Remit the following itemsSubmit to the steel will of our organization or find yourself among the ranks of those unfortunate dolts in the ZLS, LLC naughty files

Please refrain from comments that may anger or upset Radiohead, the current and ex girlfriends of said Client and their assigns and/or appointees.. Peter Guber's award shall be final and judgement may be entered in any court having jurisdiction thereof.

Warmest personal regards,

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Z. BIRNBAUM

CONTEST RULES: FAILURE TO PROVIDE ADEQUATE EVIDENCE TO THE NIGHT MANAGER AT THE MOTEL 6 SHALL RESULT IN THE THE ACTIONS DESCRIBED IN APPENDIX II:RISK FACTORS OF GENITAL PIERCING. PLEASE SEE EXHITIT Q: JOYS OF SPIRULINA FOR FURTHER INFORMATION. UNACCEPTABLE!

FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.