Saturday, January 19th 2019
View Open Cases
My organization, Birnbaum Entertainment, in association with various others, including, but not limited to Radiohead, Warren G and GlaxoSmithKlein, as well as their assigns, accountants and road dawgs, are outraged at your loading this page without our permission. My Client utilizes this ECI for information and self-manipulation, NOT to be stalked by Philistines.
Your statements have been found to be insulting to Mackenzie Phillips and in direct violation of Section 286.(a) of the California Penal Code. It has been commonly accepted (see Burke v. Williams) that simple yoga asanas combined with deep breathing and a cruelty-free diet shall take precedence over all other electronically viewed media including, but not limited to, TaeBo, Buns of Steel, Fit for Life and the Sopranos 4th Season DVD with commentary (if combined with long-tern popped corn injestion). You dare tangle with The Z?!
Therefore, vengence shall be ours, upon the expressed approval of one Camryn Manheim. While it is my personal belief that the extract of the Yohimbe Bark, and other natural sexual boosters (such as those aforementioned in sec 6, verse 1: "Aswaganda" and/or sec 8, paragraph (a) ii: "Ginseng") is indeed adequete to boost erectile and ejaculatory ability, these are not the view shared by our associate which include, and yet are not limited to, The Pffizer Corporation, Sticky Video and Sheik, LLC. Our intermittently well-staffed organization is prepped for battle as is Gabe Kaplan.
Our staff is at the ready, consuming anti-inflammatory supercritically extracted organic turmeric, yohimbe bark and performing kegels, the legal kind, (WITH towels, albeit of questionable origin) in preparation for the elephantine case we are certain to mount against you. .
Make no mistake, vengence shall be ours, upon the expressed approval of one Camryn Manheim. UNBELIEVABLE!!
However, we will give you one last chance to avoid this action should you submit the following items to our marbled ofices this instant (or at least by late Wednesday): the head of Chaka Khan, (3) CheesyBread, expertly manufactured by the "Little Ceasars" organization, 1. (one) case of domestic ale, chilled to our liking as well as (2) two lesbian or bisexual strippers who know curse words in French and can recite haiku and Four (sometimes represented by the following symbol: "4") A good line on punctual , low-cost and self-medicating temporary assigns.
We sue or chew - the choice is yours, SIR, Submit to out demands or feel the sphincter-expanding wrath of our throbbing legal apparatus
I urge you to rethink your position as we are certainly prepared to sue and have a solid, aflaccid, case against you. Any correspondence with my itinerant client (who shall from this point forward be known as "Client") shall be handled by me, my assigns and the good people at Pffizer corporate entity.
NUTRITION FACTS: PLEASE UPDATE YOUR FILES, BACKING THEM UP TO EXABYTE OR ANY STABLE MEDIA OF YOUR CHOOSING. UNACCEPTABLE!
FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.