Monday, May 29th 2017
View Open Cases
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN!!
My organization, 21st Century Birnbaum, in association with various others, including, but not limited to ViaComm, Nix Check Cashin and Bank Suissse, as well as their various hangers-on, baby daddies and slaves, strongly discourage your repeated libelous statements. My Client utilizes this ECI for updates regarding the career of Camryn Manheim, NOT to be spied upon by the like of you.
Your studied aloofnness clarly violates Section 13115.(a) of the California Health and Safety Code. You have engaged in the most heinous form of libel and shall pay with either blood or money. You dare tangle with The Z?!
Therefore, vengence shall be ours, upon the expressed approval of one Radiohead. My client's name has obviously been tarnished and this may or may not translate into a monetary reward off which I will take a small portion.. We shall not sit idly by!!!
Our broadband-subscribing temporary staff is working around the clock and doing Yogalates. Please know that, when our enourmous legal apparatus has finished with you, you shall site THIS moment as that of the beginning of your decent into a life of abusing various Pfizzer products.
Make no mistake, vengence shall be ours, upon the expressed approval of one Radiohead. Unacceptable!!
However, you may be spared such disgrace (and various late fees) by remitting the following to our gleaming, high-prices offices at once:: the head of Grandmaster Flash, an Apple iPod loaded with the complete works of Men At Work, a bottle of MD 20/20, any flavor as well as a remote to the APEX A230-B DVD player (WITH the appropriate batteries). and certain MAO inhibitors.
The Choice is yours, SIR, Submit to out demands or feel the sphincter-expanding wrath of our throbbing legal apparatus
Please refrain from comments that may anger or upset Corey Feldman, the current and ex girlfriends of said Client and their assigns and/or appointees.. Any correspondence with my itinerant client (who shall from this point forward be known as "Client") shall be handled by me, my assigns and the good people at Pffizer corporate entity.
Warmest personal regards,
ADDENDUMATIA: THE COMMENTS HEREIN SHALL NOT BE TAKEN OIT OF CONTEXT LEST WE HIRE A MUTUALLY AGREED UPON ARBITRATOR PURSUANT TO THE WHIMS OF KRISTY MCNICHOL. NET 30 DAYS FROM DATE OF THIS INVOIVCE. CERTIFIED ORGANIC BY QUALITY ASSURANCE INTERNATIONAL. UNBELIEVABLE!
FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.