Monday, December 10th 2018
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My organization, The Birnbaum Company, in association with various others, including, but not limited to Bank Suissse, Pfizzer and GlaxoSmithKlein, as well as their so-called "friends with privledges", physicians and therapists, are deeply distressed by your repeated stalking via this electronic communication interface (ECI). My Client utilizes this ECI for information and self-manipulation, NOT to be spied upon by the like of you.
You comments are libelous and in direct violation of Section 985.(c) of the California Evidence Code. Are you mad? Do you think my organization a tribe of offals who can be manipulated with promises of filmed copulation?. Your comments are libelous and damaging!
Therefore, we intend to sue. You have engaged in the most heinous form of libel and shall pay with either blood or money. Our intermittently well-staffed organization is prepped for battle as is Tony Danza.
We have procured funds for ourtemporary assigns to work overtime. They shall also be provided various fruit juices and low-end vending machine victuals as an incentive to speed your demise.
Make no mistake, we intend to sue. UNBELIEVABLE!!
However, we will give you one last chance to avoid this action should you submit the following items to our marbled ofices this instant (or at least by late Wednesday): (3) CheesyBread, expertly manufactured by the "Little Ceasars" organization, a garbage pizza and two 4 packs of Boddington's, one (one) loaf of Eziekel 4:9 organic bread as well as One (1) Dexy's Midnight Runner 's CD entitled "TOO-RYE-AY" (the 1981 original; a rare item which we expect to be delivered in fair to good condition) and Four (sometimes represented by the following symbol: "4") A good line on punctual , low-cost and self-medicating temporary assigns.
Its your choice, SIR, Bow down and lick out expensive and well polished shoes or find yourself among the ranks of those unfortunate dolts in the ZLS, LLC naughty files
Unless you enjoy severe, prologed agony delivered without remorse, you will comply at once. Dennis Farina's award shall be final and judgement may be entered in any court having jurisdiction thereof.
TERMS: THE ABOVE STATEMENT SHALL NOT BE CONSTRUED AS ONE OF FACT NOR SHALL SAID STATEMENT BE IN ANY WAY BECOME INTANGLED WITH SO-CALLED PFIZER'S NEW LINE OF PENILE ANTIDEPRESSANTS (AS SPECIFIED BY THE AFORMENTIONED CONTRACT, HEREIN AND HEREAFTER REFERRED TO AS CONTRACT. UNACCEPTABLE!
FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.